Archive for the ‘ Observations ’ Category

(well) written

“An idea. An idea is like a virus. Resilient, highly contagious. Once an idea’s taken hold in the brain it’s almost impossible to eradicate. And the smallest seed of an idea can grow. It can grow to define…or destroy you.”

I absolutely love that quote.

Tonight (or this morning I suppose) once again, I can’t sleep.

As has been a trend lately I’m not feeling all that amazing physically, but I’m oddly in a pretty good mood. I’m not certain how that works but I’m not going to question my good fortune in the face of bad fortune…what an awkward statement. I suppose it will have to do, my brain is only half functional at the moment.

Yes, I am quite strange; further proof I believe.

In other news I may have to restructure the following two novels in the first chronicles. Not a huge deal since I’m still finishing the first novel of the trilogy, but it definitely requires a bit of a perceptual shift in terms of character development in said first novel.

Basically, I’ve come up with some pretty sweet new additions to the plot and since I’m rather enamored of them I’m going to keep them and add a bit to my later workload.

I think that it’ll be very worth it; I’m always talking about the idea that a novel should be an amalgamate of several great ideas, all working together to weave a story that enraptures the reader.

That said: I want to create something so compelling that you won’t want to put it down. I want to create a world you will wish were real every bit as much as I do.

I’d like to believe that I’ve gotten off to a good start on that.


It’s been a while.

A while, since I’ve sat down and really thought about how I am feeling, and why.

This past week has been incredibly stressful and hectic. Unfortunately for me nothing has been anything that I can control or modify. I dislike the feeling of helplessness intensely.

It has also made my blood glucose almost impossible to control. Which is stressful, which makes it harder to control…

Sometimes I can only laugh at the irony of it all. Ah well, better laughing than crying I suppose, no?

I wish that I had answers. I’m a problem solver, I like to find solutions to things, to fix things. It makes it somewhat difficult to accept that sometimes the only solution is to just let it all go.

To let the chips fall where they may. To let that which does not matter truly slide.

This post will bore you

I could use a drink.

Just throwing that out there.

Today has been pretty uneventful, lot going on inside, not too much outside; well except my car’s assassination attempt.


I’ve got to get a new ride. Stat.


I feel like a lot of my posts have been quite vague and amorphous lately.

Sorry about that.

Anyway, my new job is pretty cool, there are a lot of great people there: which makes just about any job that much better.

I’ve been writing a lot in my off time, which is between ten pm and two pm.

I’ve always been more of a night person.

I’m so much more creative after midnight it seems.

Other than some assorted mundanities I don’t really have a lot to report. I’m keeping a lot of things close to the vest these days.

While being careful is a good thing, I still rather wish I didn’t have to be.

Ah well, such is life.

Such, at any rate, is my life.

All that shimmers

Today wobbles like desert heat-shimmer.

It could go either way but I suspect that it will be a day that will try my soul.

I am becoming somewhat accustomed to such days, I’d vastly prefer not to be but since I can handle them I suppose it’s better me than someone who cannot handle these days, these thoughts; the feeling of not using ones potential.

I, like every person born on this earth, have greatness inside; locked away, waiting to be uncovered.

Some days I use it, days like today, I just hope it’s still there when I need it.

I am so weird.


I’ve always thought that perhaps I think too much.

That I feel too much. For the longest time I tried very hard to not feel anything, but even so I still over-thought everything.

To an extent, I still do.

I wonder what other people’s thoughts are like, sometimes anyway; if they think things that I think or feel things that I feel. In generalities sure, but I mean specifically.

I think that everyone’s thoughts and feelings are irrevocably colored by their experiences; that their every emotion is made unique by their past, every joy tinged with a personal and specific pain.

I find that past seems to repeat itself, and I wonder what lesson I have not learned that I am doomed to repeat it so.

I wonder what is on your mind.

I wonder many things; not all of them make sense, but some specifics make my heart skip beats, there is ice flowing in my veins, the spiking rush of adrenaline makes my mind impossible to decode and I realize that there is no redemption at the end of that particular road.

Perhaps there is no such thing, but I like the concept all the same.

Perhaps, I may have mentioned before, that I simply think too much.



I have discovered that I am at my best amidst the maelstrom; my home is the eye of the storm. The raging fury of swirling emotion is almost comforting in its intimacy, its inherent familiarity.

It allows me to be, me: creative, thoughtful, inventive…it is my unique blend of insane that lets my mind cycle through beings that are only real to me; until I loose them upon the world through my fingertips.

I have never been perfectly content and comfortable in my own skin until this very moment; something clicked and I am finally a peace with the past, the path and the uncertain future.

Its a glorious day to be alive.