leave out all the rest

Yesterday was moderately depressing.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be free of some things, mainly someone.

I think that trying to salvage a friendship from the wreckage of a relationship is one of the most difficult, if occasionally worthwhile, things any two people can attempt to do. There is always a ton of pain to work through and you will ask yourself at many points if it is worth it. The answer had better be yes, I believe in this case that it is.

I will be strong, I will survive, I will thrive. I will master my own skin and then this ball of rock we walk, so timidly, triumphantly, this will not beat me because I cannot be defeated by anything but my own doubt.

Gotta go to work, but I’m smiling again.

Keep it real kids,

❤ ry


It’s the holy grail of distance running. 26.2 miles and you’re suddenly in the same company as elite runners from all over the world.

You are heir to  Pheidippides (the first marathoner).


The First Marathoner

Tomorrow begins the roughest six months of my life, to date. I will be eating less and running more than I ever have before.

I’m incredibly excited about this. Sadly, that’s not even slightly sarcastic;  I legitimately cannot wait to push the boundaries of what is possible, to push myself beyond my understanding of what my body is capable of.

It’s going to be, for lack of a better term (or sheer laziness on my part) epic.

I’m moving over the summer, my roommate is one of my best friends, he’s been through some pretty epic adventures avec moi, and I’m understandably quite excited about getting the band back together (pure metaphor, neither of us can play a musical instrument to save our lives).

I am however keeping the location of the aforementioned move close to the vest, as it were.

I very much enjoy starting new projects, in life, academically, even new video games are exciting. But I’ve sometimes had difficulties completing some of these projects. I get bored, lose enthusiasm, become more interested in something shiny, the list of distractions and hurdles goes on and on.



I finally feel a sense of focus and determination that is at once stabilizing and revitalizing. It’s not something I honestly have the vocabulary to adequately describe: suffice to say, it comes from deep within and it is a moderately satisfying experience.

I will keep writing, obviously nothing can make me stop enjoying the sound of my own voice or the look of words I’ve added together to form ludicrously complex, abstract thoughts.

Curro Ergo Sum

Keep it real kids,

❤ ry


writing is redemption

I write books. And yes, before you ask, it is an incredibly cool feeling to be able to toss that off nonchalantly.

Redemption, my writing does not redeem me so much as I enjoy writing very complex, sometimes tortured heroes that have an intense psychological need for redemption of some sort.

It gives me a connection to a person I’ve never met, probably never will meet, who is reading what I have concieved.

I live for that ephemeral connection. The connection between the protagonist and the reader is even more tenuous, they’re the same, but only in the way a television and a microwave are the same; they’re both having a human experience and I’ve brought them together:

thus am I redeemed.

keep it real kids,

❤ ry


My angel’s wings lost their feathers,
remembering those flights,
today I began nothing.

keep it real kids,

❤ ry

stirring the echoes

I feel something,
shimmering, stirring, little sprinkles of light on a cold heart.
It’s spring again and I’ve learned to fly anew, each sweet nothing whispered, a gust of wind under wings long thought broken.
Every day the light grows longer and the sun warmer and I thaw with every smile, every slight look and twinkle in eyes long dark.

I awake.

Keep it real kids,

❤ ry

live, laugh, love…learn

What have I learned?
That sometimes, no matter how much you try to see the good in someone, or how much good there really may be in them: they may not be good for you or your life.

This was a difficult lesson, but to remain happy and healthy you truly must cut as much negativity out of your life as you possibly can.

I have traditionally failed at this, but no more.

I have finally been able to place myself squarely in front of me and say: me first.

Lesson learned.

Keep it real kids,

❤ ry


I am the paragon of zen serenity.

sometimes just breathing hurts

I think that the hardest part is looking forward.

Because I just can’t see a future that you are not in.

Keep it real kids,

</3 ry

strange days

My title is from the movie, however I’ve always thought that the movie could have been better, maybe they’ll remake it. Apparently Hollywood is out of fresh ideas.

I’ve got no real reason for this post other than the fact that I said I would try to post weekly (weakly) and I’ve been slacking. Oh and I think I might name my first born Bruce Wayne.

Keep it real kids,

❤ ry

First Tracks of 2011

“A tramp, a gentleman, a poet, a dreamer, a lonely fellow, always hopeful of romance and adventure.”

– Charlie Chaplin

I really enjoy that quote. Most likely because I’ve always been a dreamer, which I’ve lately been translating into being a doer. It’s been a strange and strangely fulfilling couple of weeks. I very much enjoy my at the non-prof, I just wish it was more hours and located a few hundred miles southeast of here.

But you can’t have everything.

The job hunt is going, that’s about the best description I’ve got for it. I’ve been writing query letters, maybe someday, someone will buy my novel.

Keep it real kids.

❤ ry