Archive for October, 2012


Why does everything that exists, exist?

Everytime this why hits me I feel it. A spike of adrenaline, an inrushing surge of fear sense. My lizard-brain, limbic, fight or flight response has me scanning for exits; my fingernails digging furrows in my palms.


What is this place and why does it exist. Why are we here. Every why can be boiled down to those. They’re barely even questions anymore just nursery rhyme statements I scream to myself in the back of my thoughts.

Underlying every single word I say, all day, every day is WHY.

I have to know and I hate that I know I never will.



I learn so many rad things from the interwebs when I can’t sleep.


True strength comes from within. It’s something you’re born with, something instinctual. The trials of your life will give you plenty of opportunity to unlock that strength.

Whether or not you rise to that challenge is purely your own choice. I firmly believe that.

Inside of each and every human being is the potential for greatness. As a species we tend to ignore this.

Fear, laziness, pure cussed apathy – just a few. We’re taught in school to sit quietly for eight hours a day and take directions. Do what we’re told. This is the prison that our global society has built for your mind.

You have the strength inside you to break free. Inside your mind is a key. Your key.

Use it.


Everyone has a dark side, or perhaps a bit of darkness in their nature.

I imagine that I can see mine; coiled and waiting, filled with a latent energy. I can sense filmy tendrils of it, pulling on heart-strings; striking chords off of my very soul.

I always see things in terms of color in my mind. These tendrils are dark, filled with the red of rage and that deep purple of stayed frustration. They flow freely in rivers and streams, but (nearly) always contained by high banks and dams.

Sometimes these rivers run bank-full, droplets splashing over into the rest of my mind.

Sometimes a dam bursts.