Archive for November, 2011

Fulcrum

I had a way then losing it all on my own
I had a heart then but the queen has been overthrown
And I’m not sleeping now, the dark is too hard to beat
And I’m not keeping now, the strength I need to push me

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I’m alone
And so I tell myself that I’ll be strong
And dreaming when they’re gone

‘Cause they’re calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I’m alone
Home

– Ellie Goulding

Good song, I like the bassnectar remix muchly.

I have had a couple of days to breathe, which is nice but still somehow feels somewhat counter-productive.

Kicking the energy level up several notches in the morning. Life doesn’t wait, it passes by while you make plans that never achieve fruition, while you dream dreams that never become real.

I don’t want that. I don’t want to look back upon wishes wished, now filmy and indistinct. I don’t want to regret not jumping when I could, never leaping without looking just because I was afraid of where I’d land.

I’m never scared of where I’ll land, I let fate handle that end of the business;
my job is to make sure I stick it.

My writing moves. It moves forward, now sprinting, now crawling-but always forward. Writing two books at the same time is interesting…I don’t recommend it.

This upcoming week is going to be intensely busy.

Bring it.

Ummmm okay then

What is it that drives someone to deliberately do something to ruin someone else’s day?

This makes absolutely no sense to me.

I mean how empty is that persons existence; how sad/angry must they be inside that the way they interact with others is always so negative?

I’m not talking about isolated incidences (we’re all guilty of these things occasionally) but patterns of behavior. And while I probably shouldn’t be running a social science experiment here (ethically questionable since I’ve not informed the subject that they are indeed a subject) sometimes I remember that despite everything else I do, I am still a trained field scientist.

That said, I’ve observed this person (I know that the plural and singular don’t mix but I’m actively trying to avoid pronouns here) for quite some time and these sorts of incidents are a solid 75-80% of their interactionary behavior.

I have hypotheses in profusion but I’m leaning toward chemical imbalance, coupled with a disappointing childhood.

Not enough hugs, or maybe too many.

Either way: maybe you could find a better hobby.

Revitalize

Parov Stelar’s Booty Swing from The Paris Swing Box never fails to make me grin.

In other news I’ve been google earth’n the world, looking for sweet stuff to jump off of.

I need adrenaline. I believe I’ve mentioned that before. It’s one of the things that I really just have to do now and then to feel human.

I don’t know that I’ve really got anything deep or super-interesting to talk about today. I did learn some more about proper stress management this week though, that’s for sure.

I find that I’m somewhat less engaged in casual conversations of late; as if my mind is shrugging off those machined pleasantries and searching for purpose and meaning instead of just letting the banality of most interactions pass by unmolested by actual thought.

I am an oddity. Purposeful enigmatic-ness/ism is too much work, I’m just genuinely strange.

I rather enjoy that.

I also enjoy making up my own words or adding prefix/suffix items that were never really intended by the rules of the English language to describe things.

And anthropomorphizing concepts/objects.

I could go on but I think that about covers it.

Un(a)Muse(d)

I don’t know that I’m all that enthused about the new WordPress mobile theme.

I almost exclusively blog from my phone, so it’s actually rather important to me. I like the iOS app’s interface but now my blog looks washed out and stale on safari for iOS5.

I am unamused WordPress.

Un. A. Muse-d.

No Fear

Embrace the fear.

It reminds us that we’re still alive.

Weird

Ever be driving down a road you’ve driven down literally thousands of times and suddenly nothing looks familiar?

Just for a second then it’s back to normal.

Weird.