cogito ergo doleo

I can feel something stirring, deep inside of me.

Something I no longer thought I was capable of. Something that I had, in my infinite naïveté, believed was dead.

I cannot explain it, I suppose that these things just happen. I think it has been buried in my subconscious for months now. Waiting like a whisper, just beyond the edge of hearing. A low, throaty hum, buzzing in the back of my thoughts.

It waits for its moment. A moment that you’re never quite prepared for. And then it springs; roaring into your mind like a hurricane of thought and feeling. An inrushing surge of…wow. It is a flood and I am swept up in its wake.

Excitement, trepidation – neither word is quite adequate.

My eyes open, I can see the filmy tendrils of my breath in winter wind flowing forth; physical manifestations of that which is now flowing through my veins.

I wonder, at moments like these, what sort of plan is behind my personal universe. What it is that I am supposed to garner from these flashes of clarity.

I also think that I think too much.

Just do it. That’s what it says on the side of my running shoes.

Swoosh.

❤