Archive for the ‘ Writing ’ Category

Cold

I’ll start this with a simple thought: I hate being cold.

I remember when we moved to the states, I had never seen snow and cold to me was a balmy seventy or so degrees.

I was disabused of that idea fairly quickly.

It’s been raining, a lot. Fall/winter rain is a whole different experience than summer rain. In the summer you get this wet/warm smell that instantly transports me back in time to the central-american jungle.

Winter rain just freezes on my windshield and reminds me only that I need a new ice-scraper.

I think I may need a break from writing to live a little more, I sense a repetitive staleness to my work that is completely unacceptable.

Yup, all that from being cold.

Rando

Let the randomness begin, anon, as it were:

The line at GameStop for MW3 was insane, I’ll just go ahead and wait until tomorrow for my copy.

The nanowrimo novel is going well, it’s fairly insane. I like it muchly thus far.

I also wrote a synopsis for a standalone, backstory novel from my series.

It’s going to be pretty wicked.

But I’m not writing it until after I finish the first and second chronicles.

And maybe a couple of other projects that I’d like to do after the chronicles are complete.

I’ve got too many ideas, and the flu.

Soooooooo, goodnight wordpress peeps. Hmmmm preeps maybe?

Yeah, night preeps.

Fulcrum

I had a way then losing it all on my own
I had a heart then but the queen has been overthrown
And I’m not sleeping now, the dark is too hard to beat
And I’m not keeping now, the strength I need to push me

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I’m alone
And so I tell myself that I’ll be strong
And dreaming when they’re gone

‘Cause they’re calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I’m alone
Home

– Ellie Goulding

Good song, I like the bassnectar remix muchly.

I have had a couple of days to breathe, which is nice but still somehow feels somewhat counter-productive.

Kicking the energy level up several notches in the morning. Life doesn’t wait, it passes by while you make plans that never achieve fruition, while you dream dreams that never become real.

I don’t want that. I don’t want to look back upon wishes wished, now filmy and indistinct. I don’t want to regret not jumping when I could, never leaping without looking just because I was afraid of where I’d land.

I’m never scared of where I’ll land, I let fate handle that end of the business;
my job is to make sure I stick it.

My writing moves. It moves forward, now sprinting, now crawling-but always forward. Writing two books at the same time is interesting…I don’t recommend it.

This upcoming week is going to be intensely busy.

Bring it.

Revitalize

Parov Stelar’s Booty Swing from The Paris Swing Box never fails to make me grin.

In other news I’ve been google earth’n the world, looking for sweet stuff to jump off of.

I need adrenaline. I believe I’ve mentioned that before. It’s one of the things that I really just have to do now and then to feel human.

I don’t know that I’ve really got anything deep or super-interesting to talk about today. I did learn some more about proper stress management this week though, that’s for sure.

I find that I’m somewhat less engaged in casual conversations of late; as if my mind is shrugging off those machined pleasantries and searching for purpose and meaning instead of just letting the banality of most interactions pass by unmolested by actual thought.

I am an oddity. Purposeful enigmatic-ness/ism is too much work, I’m just genuinely strange.

I rather enjoy that.

I also enjoy making up my own words or adding prefix/suffix items that were never really intended by the rules of the English language to describe things.

And anthropomorphizing concepts/objects.

I could go on but I think that about covers it.

Un(a)Muse(d)

I don’t know that I’m all that enthused about the new WordPress mobile theme.

I almost exclusively blog from my phone, so it’s actually rather important to me. I like the iOS app’s interface but now my blog looks washed out and stale on safari for iOS5.

I am unamused WordPress.

Un. A. Muse-d.

Dreaming out loud

I’ve been thinking about the relative disparity between how many demands are placed on my time and the energy levels required to keep up.

I’ve probably got too much on my plate right now. But I think the solution is more one of organization than anything else.

I’m currently taking a breath and sitting back for an hour or so to figure this out while I do some laundry.

Tomorrow starts nanowrimo. I’ve got my protagonist and a starting point. The rest is just going to have to flow forth from my mind to my fingers and beyond.

When I envision that I see glowing streams of words flying by like golden headlights on the highway at night.

Flowing through my veins as though ideas were lifeblood, flowing trails running down my arms into my laptop and out into the world.

I love that.

Time or a reasonable facsimile

I’m so freakin busy.

I’m slacking so hard on writing lately, I have pages of notes in my phone for my novel and I literally (haha) have no time to explore them.

Being an adult is sometimes very frustrating.

Disjointeries

As I type this I’m driving south down SR 7. Thinking. Thinking about life. The events that stand out in my mind like a neon marquee.

The choices I’ve made, the things I’ve done to survive everything the world has thrown at me.

I’ve said this before but it seems unusually close to the surface today. I’ve made the conscious decision to never let the past affect the future negatively.

Theres always time to reinvent yourself, to begin again-instead of starting over. It’s all about how you choose to perceive your life and, more importantly, yourself.

Side note: I’m currently singing Dub FX’s “Love Me Or Not” at the top of my lungs. The car is the only place you will catch me singing, soberly anyway.

Side side note: I’m quite impressed that my facility with languages and accents allows me to sing with a cockney accent.

Back to my stream of thought. I seem to spend a lot of my free time introspectively.

And back once again about fourteen hours later.

I probably shouldn’t blog while driving, just a thought.

You know something? I think that I’m actually way too tired to finish this post, so I’m going to do a ryanmccracken.org first:

To be continued…

*I actually fell asleep before I could upload this last night, there’s tired for ya.

Ubermenchen

My creative process is so strange. I find that (most times) my creativity is much more stimulated by anguish than serendipity.

I always seem to do my best work while in the throes of some sort of (seemingly) mortal pain.

Weird.

It’s always been the case with my artwork, writing is a slightly different story. I can always write, but some of my best work has come from agony as opposed to ecstasy.

I wonder why that is.

Maybe I’ll figure it out someday, long after it actually matters.

Faces, places, erases

I literally just deleted an entire post because it was paragraphs of words that said nothing. Not one useful or meaningful sentence in the entire thing.

I can be way too demanding of myself.

That said, I’m catching my breath after the galaxy-spanning-breakneck-speed-dance that was this past week.

I need to get more sleep.

That’s probably not going to happen for a little while.

I need to write.

I’ve been completely useless as a novelist this week. Sad, since I’m bursting with ideas that I’m simply too tired to write down.

I keep dreaming of the TGV. I find myself missing France. I’m not quite sure what the dream means but the gist is somehow fairly clear; signposts pop up in my subconscious and then there’s you.

I want to talk about you. I want to write down all the things my heart tells my mind when I think about you.

It always comes out as gibberish. It’s as though I simply lack the vocabulary to describe any of the things that run through me everytime I see your face.

I wish I could explain the way you just walked right through the walls I had constructed.

I think that someday, somehow I’ll learn that language.