Posts Tagged ‘ postaday2011 ’

Quotes and junk

In order to create there must be a dynamic force, and what force is more potent than love?

Igor Stravinsky

Just sayin.

In other news I’m currently obsessed with Aaron Lewis’ “Country Boy” give it a listen if you’re interested.

I also edited my about me page a bit. People are a process, as we edit ourselves we should edit our online personae. I think that the self-page descriptors should be a natural evolution that mirrors our progress as people; ever-changing, never static, dynamic beings of light and purpose.

Disjointeries

As I type this I’m driving south down SR 7. Thinking. Thinking about life. The events that stand out in my mind like a neon marquee.

The choices I’ve made, the things I’ve done to survive everything the world has thrown at me.

I’ve said this before but it seems unusually close to the surface today. I’ve made the conscious decision to never let the past affect the future negatively.

Theres always time to reinvent yourself, to begin again-instead of starting over. It’s all about how you choose to perceive your life and, more importantly, yourself.

Side note: I’m currently singing Dub FX’s “Love Me Or Not” at the top of my lungs. The car is the only place you will catch me singing, soberly anyway.

Side side note: I’m quite impressed that my facility with languages and accents allows me to sing with a cockney accent.

Back to my stream of thought. I seem to spend a lot of my free time introspectively.

And back once again about fourteen hours later.

I probably shouldn’t blog while driving, just a thought.

You know something? I think that I’m actually way too tired to finish this post, so I’m going to do a ryanmccracken.org first:

To be continued…

*I actually fell asleep before I could upload this last night, there’s tired for ya.

Ubermenchen

My creative process is so strange. I find that (most times) my creativity is much more stimulated by anguish than serendipity.

I always seem to do my best work while in the throes of some sort of (seemingly) mortal pain.

Weird.

It’s always been the case with my artwork, writing is a slightly different story. I can always write, but some of my best work has come from agony as opposed to ecstasy.

I wonder why that is.

Maybe I’ll figure it out someday, long after it actually matters.

Bud (lit) up

I just slammed a shower-beer.

It was that kinda day.

Faces, places, erases

I literally just deleted an entire post because it was paragraphs of words that said nothing. Not one useful or meaningful sentence in the entire thing.

I can be way too demanding of myself.

That said, I’m catching my breath after the galaxy-spanning-breakneck-speed-dance that was this past week.

I need to get more sleep.

That’s probably not going to happen for a little while.

I need to write.

I’ve been completely useless as a novelist this week. Sad, since I’m bursting with ideas that I’m simply too tired to write down.

I keep dreaming of the TGV. I find myself missing France. I’m not quite sure what the dream means but the gist is somehow fairly clear; signposts pop up in my subconscious and then there’s you.

I want to talk about you. I want to write down all the things my heart tells my mind when I think about you.

It always comes out as gibberish. It’s as though I simply lack the vocabulary to describe any of the things that run through me everytime I see your face.

I wish I could explain the way you just walked right through the walls I had constructed.

I think that someday, somehow I’ll learn that language.

Busy little bee

The title says it, I haven’t had time to write anything of substance all week.

I dislike that intensely.

Things and stuff

I haven’t had time to write the last couple of days. This week is crazy busy.

Hopefully I’ll have some time this weekend.

Also ruminating in the background for NaNoWriMo. I’m not completely certain what I’ll write, but I’ve got a character in mind. I think that he’s an interesting amalgamate of hopes, dreams, triumphs, defeats and anguish. He is tragically flawed, but he’s got potential.

I can build a world around him.

You’re fast becoming my reason. Not the only one of course, but a serious wow.

I rather like that.

Wooooooooork

Today was brutal.

Not enough sleep and a ton of work, my entire body is sore. But it’s the righteous-feeling soreness of an honest days work.

I’m strangely comfortable with it.

Short and sweet tonight, I’ve got a seventeen hour day tomorrow.

Be awesome today.

Why’s and what-for’s

I’m about to anthropomorphize my iPhone.

I swear my shuffle is prescient. It seems to know exactly what I want to hear at times. Conversely, at other times, it also seems to know just what I absolutely cannot take listening to.

So strange.

Or maybe I’m strange.

Scratch that maybe, I am definitely strange. But I’ve made peace with that.

Pace change: I wonder what other people are thinking all the time. It’s always in the background of my thoughts. I wonder about the things that make them, well, them.

Just what are they thinking about? In general, specifically, at certain times…the list goes on. But I most wonder how their train of thought functions. Is it like mine? Do they think about the same things that I do?

I wonder what kinds of stops their trains make and why. Always I come back to why.

why, Why, WHY?

But I digress, why people think the things that they do is an insoluble riddle. Here a motivator, there a descriptor but the process remains a mystery.

I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Musing on a muse

Inspiration. What an odd thing it is. I’ve always enjoyed the Greek concept of the muses; my muse is surely a strange creature.

I wrote a poem about my muse ten or so years ago. I believe I’m going to pause this post and dig it out of my long-dead devART account (my name is nowhere on the account sooooo good luck finding me there haha).

After a bit of thought, I decided to update the poem, I have progressed to a point somewhat further along my path to mastering my craft and I seriously couldn’t let myself post this without tweaking the punctuation at least a little (it should also be noted here that I don’t write much poetry anymore and also that the craft of writing isn’t one that any writer ever truly masters).

my muse…

she is a strange thing;
forever stalking me.
so quietly, surely silently-
i remember that i am a dreamer,
when her visions find me:

hauntingly,
breaking me,
to reform me in her purpose…
she gives herself to me,

(joining in me,
completing me,
catalyzing me.)

like a whirlwind in my rain.

shaken from my reverie,
so luridly;
startled by the sheer intensity,
designing feverishly,
impossibly…

and suddenly;
she is gone and i am hollow.

my muse…
always she leaves me hungry.

I tend to write free form verse, I dislike being hindered by such things as iambic pentameter or being confined by the forms that rhyming couplets and sonnets require.

I do enjoy haiku though.