cogito ergo doleo

I ruminate. Rather often, in fact. But rarely of late have I put fingers to keyboard.

The idea of a cosmic imperative is at once comforting and disconcerting.

Comforting in a way that none of the religious traditions I am heir to have ever been.

Disconcerting because if this was intended then the universe is filled with a dark purpose I cannot quite comprehend.

I wonder if our technological aptitude has subverted this process, if we have not in some ways taken this imperative into our own hands. I wonder what the consequences will be.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Newton. He’s been right about much more than mathematics for us to disregard that.

I wonder. As always, when these quiet moments find me – it is some more wondering that I must do. Driven to it almost, as if there were an imperative that I do so.

I look inward first – ever inward – as if there are answers buried in my mind. Then pushing outward, sometimes, just sometimes I can almost feel my consciousness expand, encompassing much that is not me. And then it is gone, and I look out through a window onto the mundanity that is reality. And…

When I look at the world around me, those wonderings are generally dark. Hope, like the little glowing stars of cities seen from orbit, breaks up the darkness in places, but the shadow always grows to reclaim them.

❤